This is a project I started in 2013 using the tagline “Chaos & Beauty” (which I stole before the Everyone Orchestra used it). I had hosted this previously via Tumblr over at www.FractalFriday.com, however I stopped posting there specifically (primarily although not entirely) after Yahoo bought Tumblr and inundated it with ads! All the likes & retweets and all that was overwhelming at times too, so I don’t share much of anything on social media. I don’t intend to be recognized or critically accepted. Everything we share is judged, and in my case I have more judges than most. Some of the people judging me use aliases to make themselves feel more secure about their insecurities, while using aliases, while ignoring that I am being harassed with aliases. That is because they are bullies, but self righteousness and hypocrisy being what it is, they don’t see it that way. Karl Denson sees himself in a much different light, and people reading this sentence don’t know what it’s like in my skin, my eyeballs, my shoes all that jazz.
In January 2014, as I’ve railed on about in many many thousands of words, I was the scapegoat of a mob born out of emotion, after a series of overreactions by many individuals. This mob has given me grief for my so-called “fractals” so that is why I didn’t lose interest as I tend to do. The idea shifted overtime to post 52 images per year, for many years. I think that is selling myself short by only doing 52, but I also don’t want to get into a rut and feel like I have some autistic deadline to meet worse than Karl has his own rigid schemes, one person with autism to a next. I have autism, I don’t find this shameful. THIS is the reason the mob is picking on me and it’s worth noting this fact. I am going to retain the project title but will be posting whenever and may take extended breaks followed by onslaughts of new stuff. Many of the fractals from this period are about Karl Denson and others in his mob that I can’t namecheck since they aren’t public figures open to criticism in the way he is, after declaring nuclear war on me I’ll add. Me rhyming him makes me look pathetic and him look pathetic. For context, I am also dealing with my first episode of MS, exacerbated by stress from the aforementioned mob, so you’ll notice some are way out of wack.
If you are in a mob judging me, you don’t like the way I tie my shoes or the way I part my hair, the manner in which I put on my pants legs, or anything. That is confirmation bias. I have written a book about this with room to spare, just freestyling this mob after years of provocations.
Some of these fractals have titles some don’t, many of the titles are (temporary?) placeholders, a piece of a lyric I stole or something of that sort I picked up. I may not add the title unless I feel it’s pertinent. I have found that people aren’t really interested in context with respect to “abstract” stuff, they want depth to get lost in, textures, this and that. If anything. Not everything is for everyone. I’d like to find a balance of providing some context, but not in an anecdotal way. I might get lost in tangents or monologues about the Jamcruise XII mob from time to time, seeing that they wouldn’t let me be, declaring war on me, provoking me, then ignoring me as part of their gaslighting routine. They are playing a psychological war against me so I am poking back. Did I mention they think that rhyming makes you a poet? Like mashing up Eminem’s biggest song makes you relevant, old man rhyme!?
They are taunting me, while ignoring me. That is gaslighting 101. Whatever you think of me with respect to whether I am a jerk or what, they are in a mob of what feels like ~200 people, and they are provoking me. Using aliases, and veiled threats. Using cowardly moves like a sociopath after I have been more than open about how this harassment impacts me, they double down. When I call out their actions and seem like a jerk, there is a lot more to it and they simply won’t let up. I ignored more than 3 years of harassment before speaking up, take note of that. Karl calls me crazy but he sure does act like a sociopath. People stealing my paintings, pranking my inboxes & my personal cellphone, all the countless provocations over the past 5 years is what inspires some of the work from this era. Did I say I’ll be sprinkling in monologues in from time to time on my lye & fat box, talking about the jamfratpack & flagrant liars who seek to ruin other people’s lives, unprompted & preemptively, for kicks. Singing their words from veiled corners & dark alley shadows, mumbling their hateful lyrics like cowards. I digress.